When I began my own journey of self-healing, I had no idea where to start. I felt anxious, overwhelmed, and totally lost. It felt like everyone around me had a direction and a purpose, and I was sitting there without a clue of who I even was. Ironically, I also found myself completely resistant to changing anything I was doing in order to try and get different results. I hated myself for being ten steps behind everyone else and for not being at a place in my life that felt satisfying. I was stuck with thousands of dollars in student debt, working one minimum-wage, dead end job after another, and watching with seething jealousy as all of my former college friends were taking luxurious trips to Bali, excelling in their careers, and generally living their best lives.
I wanted that. I knew I was smart, that I could generally accomplish the things I put my mind to, but somehow I was completely, mentally blocked.
I felt like I was standing in front of this huge wall, pushing and pushing with everything I had inside of me to break through to the other side- where I assumed I would find the enlightenment I needed to change my life for the better- but without any luck.
As I saw more and more of my friends moving on with their lives, I spiraled into a state depression and constant anxiety. I felt hopeless and as if I had no control over anything. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that when we are faced with feelings like this, it can lead to a self-fulfilling pattern of destructive coping behavior. So, what did I do to feel relief? I partied, I drank way more than anyone should, and then I would feel even worse afterwards. I was so afraid to face my truth and the potential discomfort of change, that I used substances as medicine to numb myself and escape another day, and held onto superficial relationships with other lost souls who too were struggling with finding fulfillment.
The truth is, change is inevitable and necessary when we are trying to get different results. We cannot reasonably expect to do the same things over and over again, and get any better.
And yes, change can be really scary, but isn't it better to go into the "unknown" when the "known" is actively working against our best interests? Even more so, change can feel even more terrifying if you've experienced trauma- both the "Big-T" kind (natural disasters, war, rape, attempted murder, etc.) and the "Little-T" kind (complex trauma that develops with many occurences of smaller traumas that happen over the course of one's life, such as being bullied by peers or emotionally abused by a parent).
As I began embracing change and trying different things, I realized that I was going to need to heal from my own traumatic experiences before I would be able to truly embrace a new perspective, a new way of doing things, and a new life that was lived on my terms. I sought help from an incredible psychotherapist, and later decided to go back to school and become my own healer so that I could then be of service in guiding others through their own wellness journey. I understood that my therapist gave me the foundations I needed to work on my mental health, but I also came to learn that my healing needed to also happen on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level as well if I was really going to free myself for everything good that was waiting for me just beyond the other side of that wall. After years of studying everything from neurobiology, to psychology, to Eastern spiritual philosophy and somatic therapies, I realized that there are three central themes to whole-person wellness, which has become the foundation of my work with OM Therapy Coaching clients today.
If we don't tend to the wounds of our past, we cannot expand into the person we are truly meant to become.
Neural Integration - Integrating traumatizing or painful memories into our felt body experience. Neural integration is a way of opening up the communication pathways in the brain that may have become blocked or shut down because of stress/trauma. Tools like pranayama/breathing exercises, yoga, journaling, meditation, and processing verbally with a coach or therapist can help with this task.
Coherent Mind - This area focuses on our consciousness and our thoughts. We create our reality through assigning meaning to random and objectively meaningless events, and then creating a story of self-worth around them. These stories and beliefs inform how we talk to ourselves, and in turn how we program ourselves to think. This is the basis of Neurolinguistic Programming. With tools like journaling, thought tracking, challenging beliefs, mindfulness, and psychological testing, we can begin to understand our current programming so that we can then make steps to begin reprogramming our unconscious, to support a more positive and fulfilling life experience.
Empathic Relationships - Humans are biologically wired to be social, and it comes from our primal survival instincts. Dependence on and cooperation with each other enhanced our ability to survive in harsh environments. Although the survival threats have lessened in today’s modern world, people continue to have a need to affiliate with others. In fact, the lack of such connections can lead to many problems, including loneliness, anxiety, and depression. In our advanced digital age, one of the biggest concerns regarding the increasing emergence of loneliness is how we have slowly become less empathic towards others. At one time, our very survival depended on trusting, supportive, and emotionally-connected relationships. Fundamentally, it doesn’t matter how technologically savvy we become-- emotional connectivity remains a core part of being human and is essential for psychological survival and fulfillment.
When we can healthily integrate these three aspects of the human experience, it opens us up to our infinite potential and frees us from past ways of being. It can allow us to see far beyond our original, narrow-minded perspective towards an abundance of choices and options. In its essence, it allows us to blow that wall sky-high that's been blocking our progress, so we can finally step into our true purpose and our limitless power.
Interested in learning more? I'd love to hear from you!
Connect with me via email, instagram, or through my website, and let's get you on the path to becoming your highest self today!